Let me make a **DISCLAIMER** first and tell you that some strange things just come flying out of my mouth sometimes without me even thinking. (those who know me well can testify to that fact. LOL Oops! Sorry. I'm surprised anyone talks to me at all actually. I should carry an extra shoe around most of the time. LOL) ** if you are easily offended by correct terms for women's body parts you may want to stop reading now.
Anywho... after my weight and temp and all that junk the nurse asked me if I had any other concerns today. I laughed and told her that I had none for Dr. Card (cuz believe me I have a zillion TEAM SHAY concerns I'm dealing with LOL). Then here comes the non-filtered mouth part. I told the nurse and I quote, "Nope- I'm just here to get $700 yanked from my vagina this afternoon." LOL She busted up laughing! She said she never really thought about it that way. But heck! I paid A LOT of money for that thing to just pull it out and throw it in the garbage. ARRRRGGGG! We SO didn't get our money's worth out of that thing!! Can you tell that I'm a little peeved about that? The nurse and I had a good chat about a sense of humor in cancer patients. She told me that she thinks I already have it beat by half by my attitude. See!!! Who knew that being so funny would have medical benefit? (OK, most people know that but it totally takes on a different meaning when you have cancer!) Then I thought it was really funny when Dr. Card came in and her first words were, "I think it is more like $300!" Oh no! Believe me... I made her look it up on the computer just so we could calculate by the correct date of insertion. LOL So for the record... it was $560 yanked from my vagina this morning! See... still painful!
Note to Self- (There is no scientific research [that I know of- maybe I should get my "Cancer Researcher" to do some searching for me. LOL] on this part so you can't freak out and quote me on this. In fact if you have a Mirena IUD- you may just want to skip this section all together. ;)
So... here's the facts. Three years ago, I found a lump in my right breast. Dr. Card ordered an ultrasound to be done on it. It came back as benign cysts. OK, so... Three years ago I had no cancer! Then, the next year at my next Molestation (I mean Pap Smear), she felt it again but after looking at my chart said I was fine. Still no cancer? Shortly after that (June 16, 2010 to be exact) I had the progesterone-emitting Mirena IUD placed into my body. Unfortunately, I skipped the next years exam because well... frankly I don't actually care for doctors at all! (Ironic at this point to say the least LOL) Then this year, I felt the lump enlarging and go in on my own. Surprise- I now have CANCER and the kind that has a progesterone positive receptor. Which means that the more progesterone I have in my body- the more the cancer will grow. Ummmmm.... Did the Mirena cause my Cancer? We won't ever know but it is something interesting for me to think about.
1 comment:
You crack me up!! I am glad there is someone else out there who isn't afraid to talk like this. Not to mention that it hurts when they take it out too!
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