D.O.N.E with Chemo

Hallelujah! I am done with Chemo forever! (Well except for Herceptin for a year but technically they don't put the spacesuit on for that one so they don't actually call that a chemo drug) Before all of this is but a fleeting memory (yeah for that day!), I am Documenting On the Nasty Effects of my Chemo. So many different things happened during my "icky" days that I wanted to have them all down in one place. In reality I can't believe how fast it went and NOW I can say- "It really wasn't that bad!" But that is because of my little bit of cancer, I'm sure. LOL
I did fully intend to just copy someone else's list from another cancer blog [maybe laziness needs to be on the list] but after spending one early morning (I woke up and couldn't turn my brain off enough to go back to sleep. Add that one for sure. LOL), and crying because of their heart-wrenching stories, I decided that my experience is my own. Thank goodness! So here's the nasty effects that happened to me during my Chemo treatment ...
* First there are the steroids I took the day before. They made me very hungry! A good excuse for someone that has amazing chef friends that bring lots of meals. We are NOT on a diet here, people!
* Except for then after chemo- food tasted gross! A bit of a metal-ly cardboardy taste. Oh yum! It's quite the double-edge sword- hungry for things that taste icky?
* Sleeplessness was caused by the steroids and chemo as well. I lived a couple days of the Vampire Life. By Day 3, I was so tired but can only manage to sleep in small increments of time- a couple of hours at the most. Irritating!
* On Chemo, it seemed impossible to be able to turn my brain off. Too many things going through my mind. Although now as a bonafide Cancer patient, I am not completely convinced that is all because of the chemo. Cancer itself gives one enough to think about without any drugs.
* For about a week, I would end up with a racing heart. It totally is scary for someone who has never had any health issues. It made me feel like I was having chest pain. Totally never want to have a heart attack!
* Other heart matters- I had to take Prilosec for a while because of the acid reflux feeling in my throat. In later treatments it caused severe heart burn. For someone who never had that- it is awful!!! How do you heart burn people do that?
* Each time, I got body aches in my muscles. Like I'd been working out A LOT! (For the record- I don't!) It hit me the hardest in my shoulders and upper back. I couldn't stand anyone or anything to touch me for a couple of days. The last time it also felt like I had done a million squats. My thigh muscles hurt to even think about them.
* Then there's the skin peeling problem. The first couple chemo treatments it was on my hands but by the 4th, it moved to my feet. The skin peeled the worst around my heels. It was deep and buggy!
* For a week or so, I would end up with a bad case of cotton mouth. I couldn't seem to get enough to drink.
* Then I know it seems contradictory but I also would have a vast amount of extra saliva. I  would end up with a big puddle of drool on my pillow quite often. Gross!
* While we are in the mouth region, I'll mention the lovely mouth sores. By week two of one cycle, it had sorely affected the cells in my mouth. Tooth aches, sensitive/bleeding gums and un-heal-able canker sores are the funnest! NOT
* Sometimes my eyes would have a hard time focusing. That could be because I'm too lazy to go get glasses again. But dang it! I haven't had them since high school and I am blaming it on Cancer treatment. Cuz I can! LOL
* I heard a lot about bone pain but I never had to endure the Neulasta shot so I can't complain much about this one. I think I would lump my bone pain in with the achy body stuff. At some point the pain all blurs together.
* Next, Chemo stinks. It IS poison afterall. I could smell it on me. In my urine, in my body odor, it my breath. Stinky!
* Embarrassing but this has to be noted-- the dreaded Chemo Toots. It takes on a life of it's own! TMI, I know!
* I've heard about the diarrhea/constipation scare of chemo treatment. I would have to say that I was pretty lucky with this issue. I think that had to do with drinking tons. However, I have mentioned and will mention again my strong loving feelings towards the makers of Preparation-H. Harder bowel movements caused major hemorrhoids for me during one of the treatments. Horrendous!
* I ended up with slight bruising at the IV site. For the most part, the nurses did an excellent job. No complaints. Nonetheless, there was still a very sharp object stuck in a tiny vein of my hand for 6 hours every 3 weeks pumping poison into my blood stream. Poor little vein! I would ache and turn black and blue too! ;(
* By the 4th treatment, I would wake up several times with eyes kinda goopy and shut. Nothing that wiping them out didn't clear up but list worthy anyhow.
* Oh then the Menopausal symptoms known as hot flashes. Normally I am a freezing kind of person! Freezing enough to wear long sleeve shirts and long pants tucked into my socks every night to bed. LOL But during chemo- oh my heavens! To start, I never slept with socks and if anything I would wear short sleeves and some shorts. When a hot flash hit- I would tear off the blanket and pray the air conditioning would turn on. And if Brett even looked at me- he would raise my temp. (Seriously, he is a furnace!) So he had to look the other way for 3 months. Sorry, love!
* Another contradiction-seeming occurrence but I also had times when I thought I would freeze to death. Couldn't warm up to save my life. Thanks heavens I did Chemo during the Summer. Can you imagine? [Those who have survived a Fargo Winter will empathize. LOL]
* This has to be mentioned. The lovely Chemonesia- a type of brain cramp as I like to call it. It wasnt as bad as I had expected but there were times that I had things to say that couldn't quite process correctly. So I either sounded really stupid or had to do the "Oh never mind- I don't know what I was saying" line. Just call me the brainiac of this operation!
* With this one, I give you permission to not feel bad for me. With chemo, I have had no menstrual cycle. I should be and am partly grateful for this one. However with all the enjoyment of not enduring the lovely monthly ritual, it is also just a reminder that life is NOT normal. So onto the nasty effects list you go.
* The real sucky thing about no menstrual cycle during chemo for me was that I still had a very bad case of total PMS. Not all the time but I had my moments of mood swings, irritation, irrational behavior, etc, etc. Beware! Stay out of my way people!
* OK- one last thing to mention before I go on with my life. Baldness. Really, really, really nasty side effect of Chemo. Wigs are fun to try but they get old fast! Scarfs, hats- also fun but not when it comes done to a HAVE to situation. Let it be known that they are hot and itchy and a pain for the daily usage purposes. AND for the record- at least in women "Bald is NOT beautiful". Just saying!
* P.S. Thinning eyebrows- not that I had very many to begin with but this does deserve to be on the list.

Wow! That is a one depressing list! Who would choose to go through that??? BIG LOL!!! Oh I guess I did. And really like I said, I can't believe it's already over. Seriously I can't! Most of these happened at different times. They never happened all at once at least. All in all- it wasn't that bad. It's do-able, let's say. But so glad it's over and DONE!!!! Onto better things, right?

Final Date with a Space(wo)man- Chemo Day #4

Chemo Treatment #4-
Last one! Yeah!

This morning, we stopped by McDees for a little breakfast takeout so we ended up running a little late for our appointment. We even got a call on my cell phone from the RMCC to see if we were coming. Oops! I told them we were almost there. I teased Brett after I hung up that I should have havetold the nurse to tell Dr. Panwalker to go in my room and take a 10 minute break and we'd be right there. That would have been funny! When we got there and the nurse was getting me all checked in, she actually said to us- "Don't tell me you're late because you stopped at McDonalds." We laughed and told her we wouldn't tell her that then. (even if it was the truth LOL She must have seen the McDee bag ;) Then we met with Dr. Panwalker. We got my lab results back. My Absolute Segs number for this time was 7700. (Thats's up from 5500 last time and way above my 5900 even before ANY Chemo- look at me!) I asked what it meant that it was so high but Panwalker said it flucuates. Whatever that means?? LOL So instead I just got permission from him to take that as I'm awesome! He smiled and said that would be ok. [He takes my sense of humor with a grain of salt, I think] I'm sure he is so excited that this is my last day. But I'm telling you... he's gonna miss me!
 At the end of my appointment, Dr. Panwalker told me that I need to set up my next couple Herceptin treatments (I'm supposed to continue a Herceptin IV every 3 weeks for one year) and then he'd see me back in 12 weeks. That seems like forever away, doesn't it? After looking at my chart one more time, he said that Radiation might mess up my Herceptin schedule a little. I leaned close to him and boldly explained to him, "I'm NOT doing radiation, Buster!" He kind of rolled his eyes at me and then I informed him I'd talk to Dr. Bouton about it. He told me, "Great- you do that!" We have such an understanding relationship. LOL He did do his normal routine check of my lymph nodes and thumping me on my spine and my stomach. He said everything looked fine. Go me!
I think Dr. Panwalker decided to pay me back for being late because it took forever to get into the Infusion Center. Then they put me back into Solitary Confinement again. I guess they learned their lesson from putting me with other people last time. I think they discovered that I demand too much attention to have to compete with other patients. What can I say? I'm an attention seeker! LOL

While we were in the waiting room, we found out that the embrace program at Sanford allows for you to check out an IPad to try while you are at treatment. So we took them up on the offer. Brett was in 7th heaven! He played Angry Birds for the most part. Oh heaven help us if we decide to get with the times and get one of our own. LOL It was pretty cool though. I even did a little blogging on it. So neat!

Nurse Tia was my Chemo Nurse for the day. She was great. She was a sharer (maybe a little TMI but such my kind of lady! LOL) and I loved it!!! We had a great time chatting with her.

After all my pre-meds (and there was a lot of them), she got all dressed up for her Space(wo)man duties. Here we go with the icky Docetaxel/ Taxotere drug! Cross your fingers.

Brett watched me very carefully while it dripped into my IV. He kept asking, "Are you ok?" And giving me kisses and rubbing my hands while he watched the drip number go up. LOL It got to be a little bit annoying actually. We were watching R.E.D. (one of our favorites) when I  felt my heart start to race and my breathing began to be labored. Dang! I told Brett to go grab a nurse. Well at least I made it to 21 ml before I had a reaction. We really thought I was gonna make it this time. But no!!!! Stinky Docetaxel!!!! The nurses did a way better job this time at giving me the attention I deserved. LOL They brought in the red box right away! By the time they got to me my face was beat red again. They immediately turned off the machine, administered the extra red box drugs and took a million notes of my episode. ;) They hooked me up to the oxygenator and decided to hook me up to oxygen. How joy! I love things up my nose! LOL We got it under control pretty quickly. Good job! Here's my Rescue Team! Thanks ladies. You are live savers!

Tia went to talk to Dr. Panwalker about starting back up. To our surprise, he said to just skip it! WHAT? Does that mean he is just done with me? like just get this woman out of here? or did I really even need the drug in the first place? Who knows but I wasn't gonna argue about cutting 2 hours off my already LONG day. So we skipped the last treatment of the Docetaxel and went on to the Cyclophosphamide and the Herceptin. We finally got out of there about 4:15pm. What long days! Thank heavens they are over!  I even got a big Wahoo! from all the Nurses for my last day! They are the best here at the Roger Maris Cancer Center! We will miss them! (Not enough to do any more Chemo but they will always have a place in our hearts) Thank you!
Thanks also to Brett for supporting me. He has to put up with the worst part of this journey (me!) and I will always be grateful for his patience with me. Love you, Honey! XOXO

Looking ahead---We have an appointment with Dr. Bouton, our breast surgeon, on July 10th. Then we're hoping to schedule a bilateral mastectomy for the end of July or beginning of August. Wish us Luck!

Date with a Space(wo)man- Chemo Day# 3

This 1st part is my soap box for a Drug Free World! Feel free to skip down to the picture part for details about my actually Date with a Space(wo)man: Part Three! ;)

I started out my third day of Chemo by meeting with  Dr. Panwalker. My results from my lab yesterday said that my ANC number went up to 5500. (Up from 4900 last time. My immune system must be amazing!) Wahoo me! I even asked Dr. Panwalker to give me a Wahoo! but he just laughed. He asked about how this last time went and did a small checkup. He listened to my breathing, hit me a few times (ok- he really just thumps on my spine to check if it's broken or something? but I like to tease him of abuse), and checked my lymph nodes in my armpits. He also checked out my mouth sore and rolled his eyes when I told him I thought it had started because I had bit my cheek. I really like him but he isn't very sympathetic with my stupidity. We are a lot alike in that way! LOL Guess it's Karma that brought us together. 

I've been meaning to talk to him about the rest of my treatment (radiation and other drugs they want me to take) but wanted to do a little more research, think and pray about it before I did. Over the last couple of years, I have come a long way in being able to talk to people about things that I need to discuss. [I used to just cry like a baby over everything] But for some reason anytime I have to talk to doctors about my health or the health of my family OR talk to teachers about my kids- I get emotional. Argggg! I hate it only because I feel like it makes me look whimpy and less knowledgeable. In fact, last night while I was on my Steroids and couldn't get to sleep, I came up with a great speech to tell him. I should have gotten out of bed and wrote it down. That way I could have just read it to him but unfortunately I didn't so I got a bit emotional instead. Shoot! I told him that basically I should be a Poster Child for "Say NO to Any Drugs!" Besides an occasional Ibuprofen or a cold med, I don't like to take anything. So taking all of this chemo stuff is hard for me. I don't want to be stupid and not get rid of the cancer but I definitely don't want to take more than I need to.

I first told him I was not interested in having any kind of radiation. If the cancer has not spread to my lymph nodes (which so far it doesn't seem to be) and I am leaning towards a bilateral mastectomy then I don't want any radiation. It does so much more damage to your body than I want to do to mine. He seemed to be ok with that.

Next, I told him that after a lot of research, I don't see how Tamoxifen would be beneficial to me. Tamoxifen is a drug taken daily for 5 years. (I haven't check with my particular insurance but it looks like it may cost about $90 a month. What? That is buggy! I can buy a lot of fabric that. Reason # 1 that it does NOT benefit me! LOL) The idea behind the drug is that it blocks the estrogen in your breast tissue that causes my type of cancer to spread. Since, I am leaning towards a bi-lateral mastectomy-- Doesn't that mean I would have no breast tissue to block anything in? Reason # 2 that I don't see the benefit.  Then come all the possible side effects of taking it. Reason #3 for not taking it! Although it blocks estrogen in breast tissue, it can cause growth of it in other parts of your body. Just some of the dark side of Tamoxifen include:

Menopausal Symptoms- (hot flashes, weight gain, osteoporosis, vaginal atrophy, possible permanent amenorrhea (I could see that being a possible benefit. LOL).

Eye Damage-even low doses can cause damage to the retina and corneal opacities and decrease visual acuity (like I need anymore help in making me blind- I'm doing a fine job on my own with that one, thank you ver much! LOL) 

Blood Clots- it can weaken the veins causing all sorts of nasty stuff that happens when they are not strong. In worst cases, it actually says it can obstruct blood vessels to the "lungs that can be deadly and occur with little warning" Oh! Oh! Sign me up for that! LOL

Psychological Symptoms- Depression and inability to concentrate are found in some patients. Interestingly enough, I found out that a lot of the women in the Support Group that are taking Tamoxifen are on anti-depressants. Not sure if any of them are quite the Drug-free Poster Child I am so that may have something to do with it but enough for me to avoid it if I can.

More Cancer- it is toxic to the liver which can cause it damage and possible liver cancer. It also can possibly triple the chances of developing uterine cancer. Oh joy! Let's get rid of the cancer in my breast but give me a different kind so the doctors can keep a job! OUCH! That seems a little harsh on my part but seriously? Drugs suck! Another thing to boot, is that there are studies that say tamoxifen may NOT actually help pre-menopausal women. So far- that is still me!

Others- they also list asthma flares, messing with your vocal cords and supposedly it is classified as a carcinogen. (That can be a bad thing, I guess if it connects with the wrong stuff) All which are NOT things I want.

The tricky thing about drug side effects is the percentages. (and the fact of who it is you are suppose to believe!) Sure all these are possible side effects but at what percentages? Is a "small" percentage ok? Is 3% chance too much? What about 1 in 2000? It's fine if you are the 1999, right? But what if you are the one? Not sure that I want to take the chance if I feel like we're beating this cancer crap anyways! Decisions! Decisions! In one study that I read, they did a tamoxifen/not tamoxifen group and watched them over 5 or years. They only saw a 3% difference in a breast cancer recurrence. I don't know what that would actually mean but for me- it's worth avoiding the tamoxifen and all it's kuckiness! Dr. Panwalker was polite about my soap box (I didn't throw ALL this info at him. Remember I didn't print off my speech? LOL But I did share a few things I could remember) Anywho- he said we would talk about it after the surgery. Ultimately it is my decision so we'll see what happens. At least he know how I feel about it now even if he thinks I'm a cry baby! ;)

OK, I'm finally off the soap box and on with the day-

Back in the Infusion Center, I ran into Linda. She is my new friend I met at the Look Good Feel Better Class. It was fun to chat with her. I gave her a cute Cancer button and a pocket mirror that said, "Does this outfit make me look Bald?" LOL. We made sure we said hi to her throughout the day. She got done way before me! What a good Chemo girl she is! Good luck lady!

During my first 2 Treatments, I was put in a private room. Did they not trust me with others? LOL This time I was let out of solitary confinement and allowed to join a ParTay room. The Roger Maris Cancer Center is currently under construction so it can get pretty crowded. There were 4 patients in my room with lots of curtains being pulled here and there to fit us all in and give us some privacy. If there is such a thing as that in a Infusion ParTay room. LOL But it was fun and different. The patients were there for all sorts of infusion things. Some were very friendly, others... not so much! But it was all good! Not everyone enjoys a good ParTay, I guess! In the far back ParTay room, I started out in a bed but then got kicked out into a chair instead. (OK- they asked nicely and I agreed!)  We got all set up in my squishy corner with my snacks, my phone, my pillows and my gorgeous Chemo blanket. All the nurses LOVED it! Thanks to my dear friends who made it for me!

Nurse Wanda was my Chemo Nurse this time. Funny thing is that she was the quiet (somewhat non-friendly) lady from last time. Whenever the machine beeped last time and my nurse didn't come in to turn it off, Wanda would walk in and without looking or talking to us at all she would shut it off and leave as if no one was in the room at all. KBro and I started putting our hands up by our face to pretend we weren't there when she came in. It was pretty funny! She was still not as friendly as some of my other new nurse friends but she was fine. She didn't kill me at least so that's a good thing! LOL

Because of last times excitement, they gave me an extra Cortisone shot at the beginning as well as my other pre-meds to try to prevent another reaction. Wanda then started the Docetaxel on a very low drip. She didn't seem too concerned so she left right after she got the drip going. Jen N. was telling me a story when I felt my breathing and heart go funny again. I asked her to go grab Wanda. This time I only made it to 14 ml. Dang! By the time they got back to me I could feel my face turning red. Wanda calmly turned off the drip and stared at the machine. Did she realize I was having a reaction?

Without the drug dripping into my IV, the reaction started to subside by itself. At some point, I think Wanda grabbed a couple other nurses and I do remember one asking me if I needed oxygen. By then though, I had got my breathing almost back to normal on my own. Go me! Wanda did put a oxygenator thingy on my finger but I'm not sure she ever even looked at me after that. LOL It was definitely NOT the same reaction from the nurses as last time. Panic level was very low! A little disappointing actually. What do I pay them for? LOL Wanda said she'd go talk to Panwalker and then be back. She didn't even bring in the red box. I could have died, people and she didn't even bring in the red box!! What kind of woman is this??? [I am being a little lot dramatic but it was pretty funny that she was so disinterested in my plight.] When she got back she did bring the red box with her and dosed me up on some meds before starting the drip even slower. She seemed a bit perturbed that the extra Cortisone shot hadn't done the trick. Oh well- I'm a trouble maker. What can I say?

After she started the drip again (on really old turtle speed), we kept getting an "Error of Air" on the machine! Jen and I actually started joking about "Does she even know what she's doing"? The funniest thing is that we found out that she has worked here for 21 years. Yikes! (In all fairness though- she really was fine as a nurse- just not a Katie or anything!)

After my low-panic reaction LOL, some of my little Fam came up to say hi. Justice was at Scout Camp and Brett was home with the girls today. They had gone to lunch with some of Brett's co-workers and were close by the hospital. Glory had colored me a picture and everyone gave me a hug and a kiss. It was funny cuz they didn't stay long but long enough for the little girls to eat all my cheese and bread sticks. LOL Thanks for coming up cute little family!

After my family left, Jen and I got to talk to another Nurse named Lori. She was so sweet! We had a fun chat about my soap box and about Herceptin (another one of the cancer drugs I'm on) being made from mouse ovaries. LOL???? We joked about how maybe herceptin is so expensive because it can be really hard to catch all those mice. LOL  She also gave me some more food for thought on the Tamoxifen thing. Thanks lady! I gave her one of my "I wear Pink for my Patients: Team Shay" buttons. She said she got the chills and was even a bit emotional about it. How sweet is that?
When I finally finished my Kucky drug, I rewarded myself by getting to pick out a couple of hats. They have a cupboard full of hats that have been donated for patients. How fun! I picked out a couple of Red ones! You know- cuz RED is my favorite color! ;)

The rest of the day was pretty much plight-free! Except maybe for the fact that I had to ask for a lunch on several occasions and it came way late. (Not sure if Wanda cared if I ate anything! LOL) AND they brought me ketchup instead of mayo. AND then I accidentally "mustarded" Julie M. name on my quilt. We teased that-- That's what she gets for leaving me! LOL Just teasing you lady! Dang! Hopefully a tide pen at home will fix that. If not- it just adds to the memory! ;)
A big huge thank you to Jen Neuteboom for being my Chemo buddy today! It was so great to have the whole day together. We chatted about fun stuff, serious stuff, saw the one and only picture of her in a pink dress (Jen HATES pink!), and wrote my speaking part for my Positive Clicker Weekend I have coming up in a couple weeks. {Disclaimer- I was highly drugged while I wrote it! It may be an Adventure when I give it  but I think it's pretty awesome! LOL} Thanks for your ideas lady!
After an uneventful drip of Cyclophosphamide and Herceptin, we finally got out of there by 4:30. I know how to stretch out a day, that's for sure! Thanks lady for making the time to spend with me! You're awesome! Even if your dis-passion for pink caused you to break my bag! JK Good thing I am a master fixer seamstress. Luv ya!

Date with Space(wo)man: Chemo Day #2

***Disclaimer: Holy Crap! This is a really long post! But it was a really eventful day and I'm a talker so you'll just have to deal with it. Or do what Brett does and just look at the pictures! LOL***

My 2nd Date with the Space(wo)man was very different from my first. Still an Adventure but just with a lot more excitement. If that's what you can call it. LOL The first difference was that Brett went to work this time and KBro came up with me instead. She willingly sacrificed for an amazing all-day Girls Day Out with me. She's such a great selfishless friend! Also- Thanks Robbie for taking all our crazy little girls for the day. You're awesome!
We first met with Dr. Panwalker. He asked me all about how the last treatment affected me and we laughed how it was my seasonal allergies that were the worst part. He was very please that everything else went well. We went over my ANC (don't ask me what that stands for but it has to do with my blood count. It has to be at least 1500 for them to administer the next Chemo treatment.) Before any Chemo, my ANC was 5700. I had my blood drawn yesterday and the results said my magic number is 4900 this time. Not bad, I think. Then, I teased Dr. Panwalker that I had a bone to pick with him. I told him how I shaved my head but I haven't lost any yet. In fact it seems to be growing back. He said no way! He's never had a patient that hasn't lost their hair. He was not very sympathetic! He said to just wait cuz it's coming out. FINE! I'll be patient! LOL
He did do a breast exam and said that the lump seems to be half the size. That means the Chemos doing it's job. Yeah Chemo! Before he walked us down to the Infusion Center, I gave him the button I made for him. "I wear PINK for my Patients. Go TEAM SHAY!" He told us he guesses he's gonna have to find some pink to wear. (Although isn't that the point of my button. Silly guy!) KBro and I gave him a whole list of possibilities- shirts, ties, pants, hats, underwear, socks, (I even said I had a pair he could use). He didn't seem to like any of our suggestions. How rude! LOL He did say he would look into buying a pink tie. He's such a good man. ;) When we got to the Infusion center, I asked him how he felt about pictures. He said he was fine with it so we handed KBro the camera. Yeah... for the record- I am going to need to get an official TEAM SHAY photographer to come up with me as well. Don't get me wrong Kristen is an amazing Life Coordinator but as a photographer- not so much! Who knew that pushing one tiny button would be so difficult. Good thing that she has lots of other talents. I think it took her five times to get this shot. But at least we got one! Oh how I love that woman!

Back in the Infusion Center, I saw Nurse Katie from last time. She came over and gave me a hug. She said she loved my brunette wig! (She is really the only one who even knows me back there as a blonde. I get a kick out of the shock factor of "what will Shay look like next". It's kind of fun, I have to admit!) I gave her my little button gift and she told me she'd come check on me later. I just love the Chemo nurses! With my button collection, we are gonna turn everyone into an honorary members of TEAM SHAY by the end of this! Modesty is a virtue I truly possess! LOL
I was extra lucky and got to have 2 Chemo nurses today. Yeah for me! I made sure both got a "I wear pink for mt Patients. Courtesy of TEAM SHAY" button to wear. Go TEAM SHAY!
We started out by getting to know Nurse Julie. Kind of fun but somehow we got talking about religion. We told her that we belonged to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Turns out that we have a mutual friend. Julie's daughter is best friends with my good friend, Lisa McKee's daughter. It's such a small world. It kind of bonded us so she came back several times to check on me. I love it when that happens. We spent most of our time with Julie waiting for my pre-meds to come in. Don't they know we are on a schedule here?? LOL We also chatted a lot about how my cancer's working out so well for everyone. We use it as a good excuse for everything- getting out of things, buying things, getting extra sympathy or a few extra GNOs. I even think Kristen is using that line way more than me. "Cuz you know, Shay has cancer!" LOL KBro and I are SO funny! We did a lot of laughing and joking around. I love it!

Our 2nd Chemo nurse was Nurse Carrie. She was just as great! She came in after the pre-meds to start the Chemo drugs. She fell in love with KBro and I right from the beginning. See- modesty is my strong point. LOL We talked about life, babies, boobs, movies, and just about everything. I just love making new friends. It truly was a great Date with Space(wo)man #2! Thanks lady!

Here comes the EXCITEMENT part of today. Remember that last time, I sailed right through my treatment. Well... this time we got started with the Docetaxol Chemo drug. Nothing to worry about. We're all good, right? Carrie stepped out for a bit and the Massage Therapist came in. She offered to give me a free foot massage. Who passes up a thing like that? Not me! We were chatting and getting my feet rubbed when my heart started racing a bit and I was having trouble breathing. I figured I was just talking too much so I decided to shut up for a minute to catch my breathe. Then my vision went a bit blurry and my face felt like it was beginning to swell. I interrupted Kristen to tell her that I wasn't feeling very well and could she go get my nurse. Kristen stuck her head out the door and asked the nurses if they could get Carrie for us. They said she was in with another patient. Then Kristen turned on her Authoritative IRS voice and said something like- "We need a nurse in here now!" The rest is a bit of a blur. Let's just say that we can add Life Saver to Kristen's life resume!
Really though, how many people does it take to save a chemo-reaction cancer patient's life? Apparently 5 nurses, a Life coordinator, a massage therapist doing a foot massage and a little red box! LOL I believe this is what happened- (although I can NOT be quoted by anything said after this point because I was really drugged by now) Somehow 5 nurses came rushing into the room all at the same time. They immediately stopped the Docetaxel drip. They put the oxygen thingy up my nose and an oxygenation (is that a word?) monitor on my finger. Then I believe they pumped me full of some magic drugs from the red box while they all were rubbing me, asking me questions, jotting down notes of my symptoms and perhaps freaking out a little. At least more than I was. LOL  I believe this is when the Massage Therapist made a silent exit. I felt bad I didn't get to give her a button. Maybe she'll come back next time. ;)
From my perspective this was what it felt like- It started with some chest pain, my heart was fluttering pretty bad, I was trying to breathe deeply but it came out in small tiny gulps of air, my face felt warm and felt like it had swollen to twice it's size (I felt a little embarrassed by the thought of what I looked like to everyone with my face like the Stay-Puff Marshmallow Man), I couldn't really see very well so I just closed my eyes and tried to concentrate on my breathing, my lower back felt like I was having labor pains (I thought I was finished with that crap) and I really couldn't think coherently. Apparently, I'm even funnier when I am practically brain dead and really doped up on drugs. LOL I do remember one nurse coming in the room and looking at me. I heard her say,"Whoa!" and she visibly stepped back. She told me that my face was the color of the red box. Well, red IS my favorite color, don't ya know! It all happened so fast that I never really had time to panic. It seemed to me to pass pretty quickly. Carrie finally did come back and said, "What happened?- I was only gone for a short bit." I responded by telling her I didn't feel like the nurses at the desk were doing enough. I didn't want anyone to get bored. We all had a good laugh.

The RED Box that saved my life!

Looking back now, I realized that Carrie was pretty nervous so maybe I should have been to. But that's not really my thing in this Adventure called Breast Cancer so I wasn't. She said she was going to go talk to Dr. Panwalker about if he wanted to try it again. I told her that I would have a pep-talk with my Chemo drug while she was gone so it would understand it wasn't following the plan very well. When she came back, she reported that Dr. Panwalker wanted to try it again. I think that maybe she disagreed with him a tiny bit (maybe cuz if another reaction happened it would be her there saving my butt while he was eating a donut in his office or something. Being a doctor must be really rough! LOL). I reassured Carrie that I had had a little chat with the Chemo and if she gave me five more minutes I'd be ready. Our little misunderstanding with the Docetoxal threw our schedule off by about 30 minutes or longer. Cancer doesn't respect people's time frames very well. Really irritating! But we started it again as a slow drip until we passed the point of the the initial reaction (I think I only got 18ml in the first time). Carrie hung out with us until I got in 30 ml without any reaction. She kept rubbing my foot and saying, "How are you so calm? I think I'm more nervous than you."  I actually think that she was hoping that my crazy positive attitude and my weird calmness would flow to her as she rubbed my foot. If I moved at all she would freak out a bit. It was pretty funny cuz then I started doing things on purpose just to see her reaction! When she finally calmed down enough to leave, she told me that if I had any other pain to make sure I pushed the red button by the side of my bed. Well... first,  I could NOT see any red button. Remember, I was very drugged by this point. It just happened that the red button was on the end of a wire thing that was just out of my view. Who puts a red button there anyways? LOL Second, let me remind you that I had an IV in my left hand, a blood pressure cuff on my right arm, an oxygen tube up my nose, and oxygenation monitor on my right finger. Not really mobile at this point, people! So now I knew where the button was but seriously they wanted me to push the button with WHAT? My foot? I did an awesome yoga move to try to hit the button with my toe. I thought it was really funny!

Apparently, the extra drugs made me a little loopy- a severe case of Chemonesia, if you will! I was telling Kristen a story- It went something like this "So I was looking something up on a blog or the Internet or that little black box thing and oh crap! It's gone!" (My purpose of the story that is) Kristen started laughing so hard because I seriously didn't even take a breathe as I said, "Oh crap!" My thought process had completely left me. She tried to jog my memory but it was totally gone! We started laughing so hard, we began to cry. Do you know how hard it is to laugh with things up your nose? I had to hold my oxygen tube in as I laughed. We had several nurses come by to see what all the laughter was about. I think we might have to work on being a little more sensitive to the other cancer patients next time and keep our happiness to a minimum or at least a lower volume. Just in case you feel jipped that you missed this opportunity- go ahead and stick your fingers up your nose and laugh really hard. That's what it was like!
If you know me at all then you know how important I feel pictures are. There usually isn't a time that I don't have my camera on me. I was very proud of Kristen because in the midst of my near-death experience, she thought about taking a picture. But then she wasn't sure how appropriate it would be to ask the 5 nurses trying to save my life to move over so she could snap a picture. Therefore, she refrained. But it really is the thought that counts, right? I'm so proud of her! We did snap a picture after the craziness had subsided a bit. Unfortunately I think I look a little bit like a Dr. Seuss character; perhaps Thing 1 or Thing 2? Oh well! We can't all be photogenic ALL the time, right? {In the picture you can barely see the red button at the end of the wire hanging on the wall. Can you see how my angle is not helpful to see the dang thing?)

Once we made it through the Docetaxel (Yeah for me!), I decided I better use the restroom before we started the next Chemo drug. No reason to add bed-wetting to the next reaction if we can help it, right? LOL Carrie started unhooking all my extra things and then told me to sit up slowly and she' get me to the bathroom. I said OK but then in the same breathe asked her, "Did you say bathroom?" I swear that I might have heard her mention some kind of drug. You know like I'll get you some bathrydrum or something. Kristen totally started laughing at me again. Dang! Chemonesia is painful! They teased me that maybe I needed to be carried to the restroom. I asked if perhaps there was a good-looking male doctor or nurse that can carry me there. We couldn't find one on duty today so they made me walk. Mean! LOL They both held on to me pretty tight though and pushed my machine I was connected to as well. They wouldn't even let me lock the door and said they'd come in after me if I wasn't out in 5 minutes. I was feeling a bit like their confidence in my bathroom using ability was a little low. After I flushed twice (that's the rule for Chemo patients in the Infusion Center!), and was washing my hands, I finally figured out why I couldn't see very well. Turns out my "Bella-Wanna-Be" fetish got a little confused. Instead of the pupil of my eye turning red like hers, the entire whites of my eyes were blood-shot. No wonder everything was fuzzy. These crazy Chemo drugs that are trying to turn me into a Vampire are painful! I have a whole new level of sympathy for Mrs. Cullen. For the record though, I did make it out of the bathroom without them coming in after me and  I wasn't even molested. LOL Thank goodness KBro was there! If she hadn't been- there's no telling what may have happened.

The rest of the afternoon went fairly smoothly. I gave both the Cyclophosphamide and the Herceptin drugs a little pep talk and they both cooperated. We did have lots of visits from all our new Life Saving Chemo Nurse friends to check on us and make sure I was still alive. We were pretty popular. However in the midst of the craziness of the day, both Kristen and my cell phones died. So much for a Life Coordinator that makes sure we are all prepared. LOL Turns out we didn't call Becky about switching preschool to a different place. We didn't call Sean to tell him that his car was actually parked at the Church and not his home (oh- I take that back- we did leave a message on someone else's phone for him but had no idea if he even got the message). We chatted at Brett to tell him I had had a reaction but then told him we'd have to call him back which we never were able to do. Oops! We didn't call KBro's kids to tell them we weren't going to be there after school but we did manage to get a text off to Ethan to get home as soon as he can before my phone finally died. Oh what a day!

We finally got out of the hospital around 4, I think. With all the insanity that happened today, I was surprised that Kristen was a bit bummed that Jen N. will be coming with me to my next treatment. She told me to make sure I have her audition for the part to make sure she can handle it. You know ask her things like "So if I have a heartache or my face blows up or I completely turn into a Vampire- What do you do?" Cuz you know now that Kristen is a Cancer Patient Life Saver, she wants to make sure other people can do the job! All kidding aside though- I just love you Kristen. Thanks for coming with me today and for saving my life! XOXO!
2 down... 2 to go! Half way there, baby!

Date with a Space(wo)man: CHEMO Day #1

Wahoo! We made it through our 1st Chemo Treatment with flying colors!

Brett joined me for this first one. We had to report to the hospital at 9 am. I figured it'd be good for him to see what happens so he can practice his manly sympathetic skills later. We both dressed up for the occasion. Are you at all surprised? Being fashionably festive runs in our veins, I guess! LOL  I almost even wore my big pink floppy hat but didn't want to scare the Chemo Nurses too much the first day! But I do look darn cute in it. Thanks Robbie! Besides--- from being a little nervous anyways and the fact that some of the pre-meds turned my cheeks a nice shade of my shirt color- I was pretty much embracing the "pink side" completely today! Go PINK!

My Chemo Nurse for the day was Katie B. She was the BEST! She is a funny, color-coordinated (wahoo, my kinda girl!), darling lady! We were so lucky to have her. We even invited her to our blog so she can check up on us. Thanks Katie! You'll never know how much we appreciate you!

Nurse Katie was very helpful in explaining what would be happening today. She printed me off sheets which she color-coordinated as pre-meds (pink) and chemo drugs (yellow). [I had to laugh because if you've seen my sock drawer you'll understand why I told her we were destined to be together! LOL] The sheets included info on what each drug was for and the long, long lists of side-effects. Oh joy!
Just for information sake here's all the drugs I got pumped up with today-
Pre-meds included
* 15 minute infusion of  Dexamenthasone- to prevent allergic reactions, prevent nausea and vomiting, increase appetite, and to reduce swelling.
* IV push of Liquid Benadryl- to prevent allergic reactions, It was funny because it took like 30 seconds for it to hit my brain. I was so drowsy for about 15 minutes but then I could function again.
* 15 minute IV push of Zantac- a H2 Blocker. Dont' know what that is exactly but who cares at this point? LOL
* IV Push of  Palonosetron- an anti-nausea medicine. If vomit at all- I'm gonna be really ticked!
Chemo Drugs included-
* 1 hour infusion of Cyclophosphamide- an alkylating agent to help stop cancer cells from growing, causing them to die! This is the one that lowers my white blood cells count, makes me tired and will most likely be to thank for me being follically challenged. LOL
* Between each infusion, they do a 10 minutes saline flush to clean the drug out of the tubes.
* 1 hour infusion of Docetaxel- a drug known as a taxane. It interferes with microtubules that help to kill cancer cells. This one does the same stuff as the other but also can lower your red blood cell count as well and cause some swelling.
* Another saline flush and then onto our last drug for the day!
* 1 hour 30 minute IV push of Herceptin- a man-made monoclonal anti-body that acts as a lock and key to attack the HER2 receptors that are present in my cancer. This the one that I will have to continue every three weeks for 1 year. Bummer!

Your 1st Chemo day is always the longest because they do the "drip" on super turtle slow to make sure you have no allergic reactions. Katie did an amazing job on my IV. You can hardly  even see where she put it in. Since I am so predominately a Righty, we decided to do it in my left hand just in case- you know, my arm swelled or fell off or something. LOL! It'd be a bummer to have to learn to do everything left handed AND deal with the Chemo side effects as well.
We got a good chuckle out of Katie's Space(wo)man Attire when she handled the actual chemo drugs. She got all dressed up and even double gloved to hook the bag of chemo up to my IV. We had shared our chemo class experience with her so she caught on fast to our "You'll be fine!" joke. It was hilarious!

One of the social workers, Kate stopped by to check on us. She was so kind. It was fun because she remembered Brett & I from the very first day we came to the Roger Maris Cancer Center. Her and the other social worker were walking back from the cafeteria and led us through the labyrinth hallways to the RMCC. She had brought us lots of information about support groups and wigs and stuff. Most of which I have already looked into. What can I say... I'm a planner!

Another few other funny stories.
* First, Nurse Katie had told me that the first time I needed to use the restroom to ask so that they could show me how to unplug myself from the wall and wheel the machine down the hall. Well when it came time for my 1st potty break, Katie was busy so the desk nurse came into see what we needed. I asked her if she could show me how to use the bathroom. Oops! LOL I meant help me get to the bathroom. But the damage was done! It turned into our own little personal joke. When we left for the day, I gave her a hug and told her thanks for teaching me how to go potty! We got a good laugh from it. I'm telling you I'm just so funny! LOL
* Next, the scheduling Nurse, Tia stopped by for a visit and to set up my next Space(wo)ma Date. We had a good laugh because she had been the one that called me the day I had my IUD out. She distinctly remembered our "explicit conversation" on the phone. I'm quite the memorable person around here, I guess! LOL
* Finally- After one of my potty breaks and plugging myself back into the wall, I noticed that the machine said- "PUMPING STOPPED". I pushed my call button to have them help me out. Heaven knows I didn't want to spend my day there with no drip happening. She came in and said that everything looked fine. I was confused and asked why it would say it was stopped then. She looked back at me even more confused and said that it was pumping like it should. It was then that I pointed to the screen to make my point. Here's what I showed her:

Turns out that the little line between the "Pumping" & the "Stopped" are for different tubes- Tube A was pumping and Tube B was stopped. She thought it was pretty funny because she had never read it straight across before now. Funny how you can train yourself to see the world in a certain way. Luckily for me- they know what they're doing and the drip was working properly even if I can't read "ChemoMachine-ese".

I felt like the day went by really fast! I had no allergic reactions at all. Wahoo! What a blessing! I'm sure that was a direct answer to tons of prayers and a blessing I got from my dear hubby and Brother Larsen. Thank you!
Brett and I spent the morning, eating snacks, watching part of a movie, joking with the nurses and having lunch. Liberty had a musical today at school so Brett took off after lunch to go support her. You'll have to check out her performance stuff on the other blog. Sorry I missed it, Chicka!
When Brett left, my good friend, Katie Gill came up to hang with me for the afternoon. My Life Coordinator (KBro) was afraid I might get molested if I was left alone. She is always looking out for me! I'm so lucky! LOL We laughed because it turned out to be quite a hostile takeover of the KATIE(or Kate)s today! Friend Katie and I ended up spending the afternoon snacking, trying to watch part of a movie and talking about things that bug us. It was great to have her up. Thanks lady for being with me! You're awesome!

What a busy day! We finally left the hospital around 4 pm. We really couldn't ask for a more perfect 1st Chemo day! We feel so blessed!  Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers on our behalf. We can definitely feel them working in our Adventure. Whew! One thing down... two more to go! Now we're off to the kids Piano Recital and the Scout Spaghetti Fundraiser. Oh but that's part of our real life so you'll have to check out Our ParTay Called Life for that stuff.

Chemo Eve

Today is our Chemo Eve. This is not to be confused with Christmas Eve, New Years Eve, or Birthday Eve although it seems that there are some similarities. These includes staying up way too late, running around trying to get all the last minute things done, letting your patience run a little thin, and hoping everything goes well tomorrow.
I kept busy all day. It helped to keep my mind off the scary feelings that creep in when you think too much of the seriousness of tomorrow events.
My day was full of crafting mostly. Due to the inspiration of the funny T-shirts I found (and the fact that I don't have a $1000 to spend on a little comical cotton), I decided that I needed to adorn myself with all sorts of fun breast cancer quotes. Using supplies from Kristen's Krafts,  I worked up some amazing  pins, pocket mirrors and dog tag necklaces. I;m so excited! Thanks KTuck! You're awesome! KTuck also gave me the best advice. We were talking about not getting worked up and depressed about the unknown and things we can't control. She said something like" I found the best way to avoid depression is to keep busy by crafting and exercise." How true is that?? It definitely was helpful in my current situation. And a good excuse to start crafting again. (And maybe even someday Brett's wish will come true and I will do a little exercise as well. Just tell him to not hold his breathe) LOL
So here's a little preview of my amazing new Breast Cancer line of adornment! Aren't they the cutest things EVER! I love them!:

Oh... and back to the reason for this post... 
Wish me Luck on my first Chemo tomorrow. Here's crossing our fingers that every thing's all set and it goes well. I'll let you know!

Also, Let it be known that today I start down the Drug Addict Road. Oh lucky me! The day before and the day after each Chemo Treatment, I will be taking a pill form of Dexamenthasone (a steroid) twice a day. Then they also prescribed Prochlorperazine, an anti-nausea pill for after the steroid wears off. Most likely just in time for my birthday! Happy Birthday to me! LOL