Call of the Wild Workout Posse

Since Breast Cancer made me into a worker-outer, I spend quite a bit of time at the YMCA getting and staying buff! At the beginning of the year, my Workout Posse (Robbie & Katie- BFFs forever!) and I signed up for the The Trek: Call of the Wild Challenge put on by our very own Caleb Johnson (our LiveStrong Buddy!).
For the past couple months, we have been tracking our workouts in hopes to complete our 20 hour Trek. It was hard work but we all made it! Way to go us!!!

Here's what the information the Y sent out:

Stay active this winter and you could WIN!
GRAND PRIZE = $3,000 Vacation Package
This fitness challenge is designed to keep you motivated to stay active during the harsh winter by recording a virtual trek across the Yukon in search of gold!

Through your own strenuous efforts, you can retrace the journeys of Jack London or Martha Black. Jack London, the author of The Call of the Wild, was inspired from his 1887-1898 journey for gold in the Yukon. Martha Black, a determined pioneer and business women, journeyed the Yukon in 1899 in search for wealth and adventure. The trail will be challenging, but with a little grit and perseverance, you yourself will be inspired, find adventure, and strike it rich with prizes and improved wellness.

WHAT ARE THE PRIZES?

PARTICIPANT PRIZES: Prize #1: Travel bag
Prize #2: Dry Fit Shirt      

GRAND PRIZE:
$3,000 VACATION PACKAGE -
Choose Your Own Destination!

ADDITIONAL FINISHER DRAWINGS: $50.00 Gift Cards

HOW DOES IT WORK? After registering an d submitting the $25.00 entry fee, each participant will receive an official map of The Call of the Wild. Participants will choose ONE of two possible routes and have eight weeks to perform 20 or 30 hours (depending on route chosen) of aerobic activity to complete the Trek. For every 15 minutes of aerobic activity you complete between January 11 – March 8 you will earn ¼ mile. As you progress through your journey, you will be rewarded with individual prizes at specific check points and will also be eligible for the Grand Prize Drawing and additional finisher drawings upon completion.

CHOOSE ONE ROUTE: The Dyea Route (Jack London) (20 hours) is the basic route that will qualify participants for the participant prizes and the grand prize drawing. For the exerciser in search of a challenge, the Skagway Route (Martha Black) (30 hours) adds 10 additional hours to the Trek. Upon completion of the Skagway route, you will qualify for additional gift card drawings to celebrate your heroic efforts.

Please Note: Although you do not need to be a YMCA member to join, participation in this challenge does not include a YMCA membership or access to the YMCA for participants who are not members.

For more information, please contact Caleb Johnson, Healthy Living Director at 701.356.1447 or caleb.johnson@ymcacassclay.org.

P.S. Robbie won a couple extra things at the end. Fun for her!!

Aloha! We're Celebrating!

Not wanting to get our hopes up, we hadn't got around to planning a ParTay for my last day of treatment. But since it turned out that we are officially DONE today, we decided to take our little family out for dinner to celebrate our success!
Recently, Brett and I had gone to Texas Roadhouse with our good friends, the Cooks for a double date. We loved the sweet potatoes and rolls and well.... everything, so it was the perfect opportunity to go again and not feel guilty. LOL
Our waiter was from Hawaii and he was awesome! Every time he came to or left our table, he said "Aloha!" And of course, Brett (and eventually all of us) would respond back rather loudly. He had a fun, tease-y personality just like us and we had a blast! And the food was just as good as last time.

{SIDE NOTE: One of my favorite parts of blogging for me is coming up with fun titles to use. I knew for this one that "Aloha!" would be part of it. But I wanted to know exactly what it meant. I did a little searching and guess what I found..... Using Hawaiian language grammatical rules, aloha translates literally as "The joyful sharing of life energy in the present" or simply "Joyfully sharing life" or "To consciously manifest life joyously in the present." Oh my heavens!!!! How perfect is that????? I love coincidences like that! AWESOME!!}

Of course we didn't want the night to end without documenting our new friend and our little ParTay so we asked for a picture. He was a little nervous because he didn't want it to end up on facebook. (See once again a perfect coincidence since we are not face-bookers. LOL BUT he must have jinked it because every picture we took with him in it- the flash wouldn't work. Too funny! The last one, he ended up taking and it worked perfectly. Go figure!)
Once he had agreed to allow us to photograph him, he ran to grab someone to take the picture. He came back with not one but two people. One to take the picture and the other to be in it. She was way fun and bubbly but we were confused why he had brought her until... we found out she was the Owner. How fun is that? She had stopped in to pick up dinner for her family and since he was excited for our celebration he invited her to be a part of it. After the picture, she stayed and visited with us for a bit. Then she told the kids she was going to go get them a gift. She came back with some fun Texas Roadhouse toys. They were so excited! She also brought back a gift certificate for a free Dinner for Two so that Brett and I to come back for a date night. How extremely generous! Thank you so much! Fargo has such amazing people. What a great Celebrate my Last Cancer Treatment ParTay! Wahoo!

Ringing the Bell

The sound of a ringing bell has different meanings in different circumstances. Often they're rung for religious reasons, at times to commemorate a momentous event, or in remembrance. At the Roger Maris Cancer Center, the ringing of a bell signifies that a patient has completed treatment.

Ring this bell

Three times well

Its toll to clearly say

My treatment's done

This course is run

And I am on my way!

*Brett had only stayed with me for my doctor's appointment today so I was alone when I finished my last Herceptin. I hadn't really thought about that in regards to saying goodbye to the Infusion Center. However, when I got unhooked from the machine, got bandaged up and collected all my things and we were walking out, my nurse Theresa announced it was my last time back in the Infusion Center and all the Nurses cheered and congratulated me. I got hugs from Theresa, Carrie and Katie. They are all so nice. As far as the tradition of "ringing the bell", I had pretty much decided NOT to do it. I felt kind of silly to go out and ring it without anyone that cared. But some of my Nurse friends- Theresa, Carrie, Lexi and a couple other nurses came out to celebrate with me. What amazing women! They video-ed it on my iPod and took a picture and of course, they cheered. In the end, I'm glad I did it. You know how I love to celebrate things and document it. So...

DING!! DING!! DING!!

I'm done!

Herceptin #16: DONE FOREVER!

Brett came with me for my appointment with Dr. Panwalker this morning. Which was way nice of him since I admit that I had a mini-freak-out this morning, ended up crying and told him I would just go by myself.  Going to bed late, getting kids up and off to school, making breakfast, getting Glory ready, shoveling part of the driveway (yes! It snowed AGAIN this morning), getting myself ready, trying to do something with my ugly hair, driving in the freezin' cold and snow-swept roads to drop Glory off to the Gills (in the opposite direction and in a truck that isn't running well lately), picking up Brett at work on the way and making it to the RMCC by 9:10 AM (not to mention that I am so tired of treatments I could scream) was a little too overwhelming for this non-morning-loving Cancer patient. So... a big apology and thanks to my amazing Hubby for putting up with me and coming anyways. XOXO. Luv ya, Honey!

Honey- Are you "leaning"?
You must love me! LOL

Our appointment with Panwalker, our Oncologist went well. I was not as melancholy as last time so I didn't freak him out as much. [My old tease-y self made a semi-comeback] The doctor did his regular questioning, examing and discrediting any of my symptoms. (I like to tease him because the things that I feel I have as side effects like my brittle nails, my heart racing for a couple days and my urine smelling like mouse ovaries I guess are NOT real symptoms. What do doctors really know anyways? LOL)
He did say everything is looking great! Well, except that my weight is up by 5 pounds. Grrrr! Not that he cares or is worried about that [In fact, I'm the one that brought it up] but I did inform him that it is because I did Pilates yesterday and it's ALL muscle. He completely agreed. LOL
Then, we discussed how my treatment is almost over. I told him that today was my last Herceptin that I had scheduled and was wondering if I needed to set up one more. OR..... If this could be my last one? He totally surprised me but he said it could be. WHAT???? You mean I can be done? Hallelujah! Today is my LUCKY DAY!!!! [I told him I actually wore my "LUCKY" shirt today, just in case it would help. Looks like it did! Wahoo!]

* It looks like for follow-ups we will meet with him every 3 months until next year and then every 6 months after that until the 2 year Cancerversary from my surgery. But no more infusion so I am so ecstatic!

Back in the Infusion Center, Theresa was my Herceptin nurse for today. She was awesome! I have been really lucky to have some amazing nurses on my journey. I actually feel bad that I didn't do anything BIG to celebrate my last day. You know, gifts for all my nurses or throwing a party or something. LOL But then, the fact is that I was trying not to get my hopes up just in case I had to do one more treatment. {This is a first for me that things have gone my way so I was completely caught off guard!} So... perhaps I'll have to do something and take it in sometime. Any ideas?
I did think it was ironic because I actually forgot my camera today. Can you believe that???? Figures! It's my last day and I am without a way to document it properly. Grrrr! Thanks heavens that I decided to throw my iPod in my bag. Crappy pictures are better than no pictures if you ask me!
Despite my lack of preparedness for this momentous occasion, I sit here in my own little, secluded room at the Roger Maris Cancer Center Infusion Center for my final Herceptin treatment, taking inventory of all the things I will do for the last time. Nothing bitter-sweet about it but for the record, this will be the last time that I...

Borrow an iPad to blog during my visit. And get a hole
poked in my left hand to insert plastic tubing.

Get a warm blanket and a treat bag
of Chex mix, pretzels, cheesiest and m&ms.

get hooked up to an intravenous (IV) infusion pump
in a Cancer Center 

Get my blood pressure taken with an IV 
in the same arm. Ouch!

 walk down the hall connected
to a machine to use the bathroom.
And have to flush twice!

Wrap my Hand up like a Boxer so I can go home!

Also (without photographic evidence), it will be the last time that I:

* sit alone in an Infusion room for hours.
* tell the Nurse that I didn't have lab work done because Dr Panwalker says, "I'm fine!"
* spend a week having my urine smell like mouse ovaries. [You can't even photograph that anyways!]
* whine about having to take drugs that may or may not keep my cancer away.

Good riddance to all of that! Wow! What a year! No words can say how happy I am to be done with Herceptin FOREVER! Farewell you stinky, icky mouse ovaries!

Freedom from Treatment!!!

(In my latest bout of blog-stalking other Cancer patients, I found these thoughts from a blog called The Funny Thing about Cancer. Every word was exactly how I am feeling so I changed the amounts, took out what I didn't experience and added a few of my own thoughts. Thanks to Cynthia Ericson for putting my feelings perfectly into words. I've been saving this post for a LONG time. I'm so excited to be able to finally share it.)

Tomorrow is possibly my last Herceptin.

It is my sincerest hope that tomorrow will be the last time I:
- ever visit an infusion room.  For any reason.
- see a nurse in a special gown that is supposed to protect her from the poison she is about to pump into someone.
- have to wait (and wait... and wait) for the lab to release my meds.  Seriously.  Takes forever sometimes.
- have to pull an intravenous (IV) infusion pump down the hallway to use the restroom.
- have to wrap my hand like a boxer with a cohesive bandage so I don't bleed all over the floor on my way home.
- spend my Friday morning in an infusion room.

Bottom line is that I hope tomorrow is the end of my cancer journey.
Sure there will be follow-up visits. But even with those future appointments, tomorrow FEELS like the end of all of this craziness.  It feels like the chains are coming off and I'll finally be free!  Free from the appointments and the waiting rooms.  Free from the physical annoyances that are "side effects".  Free from the constant scheduling that all the appointments require.  Free from the insurance forms telling me the price that they think mouse ovaries cost.  Free from ALL of that.

Did you know it's been THIRTEEN months since I've gone more than 3 weeks without a doctors
appointment of some kind?  For the last year, I have seen a medical professional at least once every 3 weeks.  Prior to cancer, I saw a doctor exactly once a year (except for when I was pregnant) and even less after my little one hit 3 years old.  I am so unbelievably excited for that to be over.  

After tomorrow, I won't have to go see my oncologist for THREE MONTHS. By then I am hoping that God will let me in on his plan for the future and I will officially put this part of my life behind me.

Now, I know I will never be truly free from cancer... any survivor will tell you that cancer will forever be a part of your life, even when you're "cured".  But to be free from the responsibility of the constant appointments and treatments will be divine.  I can't possibly tell you how exciting that is for me.

So here's to celebrating the end of treatment and ALL the freedom that comes with it :)

Feeling Unspectacular and Unanswered Prayers

It's been a rough couple of weeks for me emotionally. I'm sure it's partly a Winter Blues issue but it's also an "angry at cancer" thing. I should start out by saying that I will probably be struck by lightning for my bad attitude since I have been blessed more than my fair share through this past year. But regardless of my fear of being fried to a crisp by 300 kilovolts---these past few weeks I have had a hard time not focusing on all the things cancer has robbed me of and the frustration of unanswered prayers.

As most of you know, my family had big plans to have a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Long story short... Cancer robbed us of that! Many have said that perhaps giving us that opportunity was the only way that we would have found the Cancer in time. But I can't agree. There was lots of other things that could have happened to help us "discover" the cancer. I wish I could say that I understand why they would say that but we had prayed so long & so hard and had turned the issue completely over to God and everything was starting to fall into place when we were diagnosed. I know without any doubt that God had told us to go. Even after the diagnosis, we prayed with open hearts (although heavy at the time) that if this was all for finding out about the cancer that we would give it up. But time and time again more things fell into place. Then after EIGHT long months of continuing down the path we felt we were directed to go-- CANCER made our Dream and Big Adventure over. Why?? What happened to all the answers to prayers we felt we had received and how do I get past that???

I am NOT doing a very good job, I'll tell you that. I have tried to make CANCER my new Adventure. After my diagnosis, I worked hard on making it a positive experience for our family and having some fun along the way. It worked for a while. But after finding out we were staying stateside, I really don't see the point. My point was to beat the cancer and then go on an amazing Adventure. But NO!!!!!!!! Instead, I may never even get out of Fargo! {Where it  feels like Winter 11 months of the year!!!} Grrrr! While we were fighting our way through chemo and surgery, we passed up opportunities to go other places because we were sure that Bogota was where God wanted us. And now we don't have any clue where we should go or where God even wants us. None of our prayers seem answered as of late. I actually torture myself by having the temperature for these other places on my iPod. I check it every morning. [I know it's pathetic but that's how I roll these days] So like this morning at 7:30 am when it read- SLC: 39 degrees, Helena: 43 degrees, Bogota: 54 degrees, Fargo: -6 freezin' degrees- I almost wanted to swear. You gotta be kidding me!!! "WHY do I live here????" has become a question I ask myself a zillion times a day lately! What is the purpose of me being stuck in this frozen place?

In the past couple weeks, I also started reading a few Cancer blogs- perhaps for a little sympathy or to get some perspective. That has backfired! One blog was such a fun-loving positive blog. I felt like I connected to her words and her spirit but then she died suddenly! A complication from the drugs or something. Man! Cancer sucks! Another lady has made her cancer diagnosis into a business. She started a foundation and travels all over the world promoting awareness and making a zillion friends. So... I pretty much hate her! LOL A few have posts about how family and friends rallied and threw big, huge fund raisers in their behalf to help them offset their medical bills. Did I need that? No. Brett and I worked really hard for the last several years to save for a rainy day. We were prepared!  Does that change the fact that it hurts my feelings a little that no one did that for me. You bet. Cancer sucks! Most of the cancer blogs that I read have tons of followers. At the conclusion of each post, a handful of friends leave comments and words of encouragement. Me? I'm not sure that anyone reads mine at all. Guess that's my unspectacular cancer life. Oh well! Two other blogs I read are of women who are on their SECOND time through cancer. Both did drastic measures to "take care" of it the first time but years later, it's back and it's fatal. What the.....ll?? Cancer SUCKS!!!!!

So what is the purpose of all this dramatic and pathetic whining?? I don't really know. But that would be a really sucky way to end a post.
So... the other day on a most unspectacular day of mine, my little family was doing some scripture study when we came across this quote. I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with it but I am trying to make it speak to my heart. Perhaps by typing it here it will sink in a little.

"Not everyone is going to be .... fill in the blank with some important responsibility. Not all are going to be like ...fill in the blank with some more-than-amazing leader... catching the acclaim all day every day. No, most will be quiet, relatively unknown folks who come and go and do their work without fanfare. To those of you who may find that lonely or frightening or just unspectacular, I say you are "no less serviceable" than the most spectacular of your associates. You, too, are part of God's army."- Howard W Hunter

So is that my answer???? Who cares if Cancer sucks, Shay? Who cares if you use all your savings to pay off your medical bills? Who cares if you want to leave this crappy, freezing place??? Who cares if you are boobless and have a really ugly hairdo? Who cares if you feel like your life is NOT the Adventure you want it to be? Just be serviceable, woman!!!!! Is that my answer?? ..... Perhaps.

P.S. As I was being my whiney, pathetic, unspectacular self these last couple weeks, I did receive this email from an old friend. Funny how people can do/send things when they have no idea how much it will mean to someone. Thanks, Heather! You'll never know how much I needed it! XOXO

I was checking out your blog today.  (It has been awhile since I was on.) I am truly amazed by your out look and attitude.  You have always been an inspiration to me and I miss talking and sharing with you.  I have thought and prayed a lot for you and your family.  I am truly blessed for this experience.  I know it can't be easy and life is difficult on its own, then to add such an illness makes it more difficult. I hope you know of my love for you and that I miss you terribly.  Thank you for sharing your journey, I love hearing about it.  You have a great sense of humor and it is always entertaining to read.
Keep your chin up and know that you are loved,  Heather Parry

Herceptin #15: Almost done!

Another three weeks have flown by, and I headed up to the RMCC for my Herceptin treatment. I haven't felt the best this week- (not Cancer stuff but lady and headache stuff) but nothing to keep them from drugging me up. LOL Although my blood pressure ended up being a little lower than usual. Maybe that's why I've wanted to stay in bed all week? [Not that it was low enough to do anything this time]

I've never had problems with my blood pressure before even with having all four of my children. Because of that, I've never taken the time to understand what it means. I actually have no clue what it even measures (HaHa...ok- I know it's the pressure of my blood, at least) So for my own benefit, here's a little info about blood pressure. Always interesting to find out how much I really don't know. LOL:

Blood pressure is typically recorded as two numbers, written as a ratio like this:
SystolicThe top number, which is also the higher of the two numbers, measures the pressure in the arteries when the heart beats (when the heart muscle contracts).
Diastolic
The bottom number, which is also the lower of the two numbers, measures the pressure in the arteries between heartbeats (when the heart muscle is resting between beats and refilling with blood).

How Is Blood Pressure Measured?

Blood pressure is measured with a simple, painless test using a blood pressure cuff -- doctors call it a sphygmomanometer. It consists of a small pressure gauge that is attached to a cuff.

The inflatable cuff is wrapped around your upper arm. Some blood pressure cuffs wrap around the forearm or wrist.

When taking your blood pressure, your doctor will use a stethoscope to listen to the blood moving through an artery.

The cuff is inflated to a pressure that’s known to be higher than your systolic blood pressure. As the cuff deflates, the first sound heard through the stethoscope is the systolic blood pressure. It sounds like a whooshing noise. When this noise goes away, that indicates the diastolic blood pressure.

The systolic blood pressure number is always said first, and then the diastolic blood pressure number is given. For example, your blood pressure may be read as "120 over 80" or written 120/80.

Blood pressure is measured in millimeters of mercury (mm Hg).

My Herceptin Nurse today was Janae. She was great! She got me in and out super fast! I was home a whole hour earlier than I usually am. Yeah! Thanks to my dear Hubby for helping me out with little Glory today. One or two more treatments and then we'll put this chapter behind us! I CAN"T wait!

YMCA Commercial

After Robbie and I graduated from Livestrong, the Y asked for comments about our experience with the YMCA and the Livestrong Program. I was in my "angry at the world" mode of life, so I didn't feel I had anything worth saying. Robbie on the other hand, had very nice things to say and sent them in. As a result, her and her family were picked as the local Y Family. I'm so excited for them! The honor comprised many things including a photo shoot that landed them on the Cover of the new Spring/Summer Program Guide (their story is on page 3) and being featured in a YMCA commercial. How cool is that?
What does this have to do with MY cancer journey? Well,  part of her comments included things about me and how she started coming to support me. AND because of that, they asked if I would be willing to be part of some of the filming. So today, I met Robbie downtown at the Fercho Y to shoot a YMCA Commercial. LOL first, we met the Y staff and the film crew. Then headed upstairs.
We started out in our Zumba class. They had to have everyone sign a waiver in case they got in the shot. It was a LARGE class so it caused quite the excitement. It's always an upbeat class but you bring in a film crew and the energy jumps through the roof. Too funny! Then, we danced while they filmed. I think they mostly shot Robbie but I was standing next to her so maybe I'll be in there? We only did a couple songs then slipped out to go downstairs.
Down in the weight room, they filmed us doing some exercises on the arm and leg machines. We also both did a few reps for our biceps in the same shot. Our next filming op was on the treadmills. I even did a little running just to show off.  Go me! We finished our time together by doing a few exercises with Katelyn. It was fun to have us all back together for a bit! It was so hilarious to have the camera man walk around us and zoom up close. I obviously have a smaller "personal space bubble" than I thought. LOL But it was still a fun Adventure to do together.
Thanks for letting me be a part of it, Robbie. You have been an awesome friend through this journey of mine. I will never be able to repay you and your family for your kindness. Luv ya, lady!
They continued to film Robbie and her family doing other things around the facilities but we made sure we got a picture to remember our experience. (Hopefully, I can link the commercial when they get it all done!) But, here's us with our film crew for the day. Thanks to the Y for the opportunity to be a part of your great program!

My Final Word on Wigs

I probably should have wrote this post a long time ago but life keeps flying by so quickly it's hard to keep track of it all.
I haven't really worn a wig at all since the end of October {almost 4 months ago}. Looking back at pictures of when I stopped wearing one, I can't believe I ever left the house like that. It was SOOO short! But I do remember that as it was growing back and  I was still wearing the wig, it was smashing the new fuss and stunting the growth in some places. Brett kept encouraging me to let it do it's thing and go natural. At least that was the mentality behind the abrupt stop to the fake do.

A few things that I did learn about wigs from my experience. Take it for what it's worth!---
* Get one really great wig! You'll end up spending a few bucks but it's worth it. It doesn't necessarily have to be made of real hair (and in fact I enjoyed NOT having to fuss with styling it. "Slip it on, smooth it down and go" was the best for me!) But get at least one you really LOVE! Getting more than that would purely be for fun!
* Make sure you try it on before you buy it. Best advice ever! Wish someone would have told me that! I bought a couple online but neither of those are my favorite. Such a bummer! So... Try before you buy! My two cents from first hand experience.
* I would spend the extra money and get a monofilament cap (and possibly with a lace front). That way it looks like the hair is coming from your scalp. Have no idea what I am talking about? LOL Well, while I was researching for wigs at the beginning, I came across this WIG GUIDE on wigs.com. It's really helpful!
* Buy yourself a soft "Cancer Turban". This 3 seam cotton one was my favorite. Cuz let's face reality. Wearing a wig ALL the time is a pain (and itchy)! I wore this a lot!!!

* Take a deep breath. Hair grows back. Maybe not as fast as one would like but you won't be wearing a wig forever!

A Head FULL of Hair

My journey from Bald to Beautiful is gonna be a LONG one! But keeping track of it almost every week has allowed me to realize how far I have come! It's fun to actually see the slight changes that happen. And having hair again is nice! It's coming in WAY thick with quite the wave. I'm not sure what you would call the color? And... often I have wondered how people describe me? LOL Especially because I still categorize myself as the "blonde chick". Weird, I know! It's definitely darker than before but the tips are getting lighter. Only time will tell what I really am! ;) I [and especially my girls] are looking forward to having "girl" hair again but I will admit- having short hair has been SO nice in the getting-ready sense. What used to take me HOURS to dry and do- is completely done (straight out of the shower) in like 3 minutes. Wahoo! Maybe short hair will become my norm? LOL

Here's to slight changes!!!!

P.S. As of beginning of Feb, I finally am able to tuck my side burns behind my ears!

BOOBLESS- My Surgery Recovery: (with Pictures)

This post is dedicated to living BOOBLESS! LOL 

It's been six months since my surgery to remove both my breasts. I have hesitated to include this post due to it's graphic and possible offensive nature BUT this is the reality of breast cancer with a bilateral mastectomy. And afterall the reality of My Breast Cancer Adventure is why I am keeping this record.
I have mentioned it before but another reality of Breast Cancer is that time passes, the shock and worry for those around you fades and everyone "moves on" from the craziness surrounding your diagnosis. But MY reality is that it will never go back to normal. Whatever NORMAL is, right? Taking a shower will never revert back to cleaning a body with a female chest for me. Getting dressed each morning and having to make the decision whether to wear "boobs" or not will always be a part of my life. Not that it hugely matters but it is a daily reminder that Breast Cancer has changed me forever.
My decision to NOT do reconstruction was a personal one. One that seemed natural and less complicated for me. It was one less long-drawn-out-process to avoid.  Before I started this adventure I was unaware that reconstruction takes a minimum of 4-6 months depending on the size you want. And then an extra surgery! um....No thanks!
Another logical reason for me was due to the fact that foobs don't last forever. What? I guess nothing really does, right? The doctors informed me that because I was young I would need to have them replaced once maybe twice in my lifetime. That was not an appealing option for me. Besides, I am an "options" girl and how fun is it that I have so many choices of breast sizes now that I gave myself a flat canvas to work with. ;) Shopping for new breasts was way more fun that I thought it would be! And bonus- I technically could get a new pair of perfectly perky boobs every year for the rest of my life. How many women can say that? LOL
One thing that I did NOT expect was the fact of how often I would choose to not wear anything. Now that I am a worker-outer, it is way more convenient to be boobless. "Boob sweat" is a thing of the past for me, my friend! Besides running on the treadmill and bouncing in Zumba- piece of cake for me now! ;)
One thing that has been a little disappointing was the fact that I had in my head that after my surgery, I would have a perfectly flat chest. The harsh fact of scars never even crossed my mind. Stupid, I know. But it wasn't something I was expecting. Before my surgery  I had came across this elegant black & white picture of this woman that had a bilateral mastectomy  She's beautiful and flat chested-- flawless. That's what I was looking for. Well, at least at first glance and to an untrained (a non-mastectomy participant) eye that's what she seemed to me. Now six months down the road and with a more-than-I-ever-wanted-to-know knowledge, I can see her scars and the fact that her arms stretched up and it being printed without color gives a false impression of perfection. Interesting how we only see what we have the ability to comprehend. {Back in July, I even thought about taking the picture to my surgeon so he knew what I was expecting. I never was brave enough to take it in to him. Maybe I should have??? Oh well! Too late now. Bummer!}
Anywho-- regardless of my pre-amputation expectations, flawless & flat chested is NOT my reality. I had two different surgeons on my big day. Not sure if that added to my certain outcome but in my opinion, one took off too much and the other left too much. Over time and a little beefing up some muscle (LOL), I hope that they will even out a bit. However, regardless of time, two 5 inch scars (and two tiny poke holes from my drains) are now permanent features of my front side. Like I said--- Breast Cancer has changed me forever!
As I talk to (or read) others, it seems everyone has a different opinion about the importance of breasts and whether to reconstruct some resemblance of a former life. Some women (and some husbands:) actually have very strong opinions about breasts. Imagine that! ;) I guess I can understand how people would feel somewhat "attached" to them. LOL But for me, boobless is an ok option!

6 days after Surgery: With Drains in

17 days after surgery: Sterry strips off

1 month after surgery: Healing

Six weeks after Surgery

6 Months after Surgery

Herceptin #14: Going Alone

Wow! Where does time go? I can't believe it's time for another treatment. Yesterday I had a little anxiety about it. I never have any reactions and I'm always done within 3 hours BUT cancer treatments are Cancer Treatments, by golly! Going alone really is the easiest for my Herceptin treatments. (and I have gone to most of them myself) It doesn't waste anyone else's time and I really get a lot of blogging done on my borrowed iPad. Not to mention the quiet time. Love it! However for some reason this time- I felt sad that I am doing "this cancer thing" alone. I even got a bit teary- eyed about it. Dumb, I know. Funny, the roller coaster of emotions cancer life can take you on.
Once I got to the Roger Maris Cancer Center Infusion Center (wow! That's a mouth full), I was fine. I got settled in my heated, comfy, reclining chair. They brought me some ice water and a bag of treats and I leaned back in the quietness to type up a storm. Reminder that I am very blessed and coming alone really isn't a bad thing!
Josette was my nurse for today. We've never met before but we had a lot in common. We chatted about kids, photography, blogs and digital scrap booking. Wahoo! Gotta love a crafty comrade! Other than that... Nothing big to report. I was in and out pretty fast with no complications as usual. Go me! Just get to go home and smell like Mouse Ovaries for the next couple days. LOL

One more down.... Only 2 (possible 3) more to go!! Yeah!

6 Months Since Surgery: Appointment with Dr. Bouton

I had my 6 month appointment with Dr. Bouton, my Breast Surgeon today. These follow-up appointments are annoying sometimes. I understand the purpose behind them. Afterall, life after cancer is never the same. Little bumps and differences are treated different than they ever were before. But doctor appointment after doctor appointment gets old! Better save than sorry though, right? So, another babysitter to get and another trip to the hospital, I go. In my five minute visit, Dr. Bouton did an exam and said everything looks great. He wants to see me back in 6 months. Lucky me!

3rd Annual SUPPORT THE GIRLs Fundraiser

I received an email a while back from Lisa V, one of the Breast Friends Support Group founders asking for volunteers for their annual fundraiser. I haven't gone to the group much and am not planning on going to the conference that the fundraiser is helping pay for so wasn't sure if I wanted to go. But I'm always looking for some kind of Adventure to blog about. LOL
I ended up signing up to help at the admission table for a couple hours. Then I called KBro and begged (OK... Maybe I didn't quite make it to the begging stage) her to come with me. It's been a long time since we have had a Cancer Date together so she agreed. Yeah!
It was a windy, freezing' night but after stopping by the bar (oops! Wrong place) and making our own parking space close to the Speedway Event Center door, we braved the temp to make it inside. It was fun to see people I recognized. First, KBro and I checked out the place- all the silent auction tables, the Boobie Shop, the raffle drawing table and the food. Then, we got a quick training on our duties for the evening. It was our job to sit at the table by the front door, visit, smile, welcome people and collect money. We were awesome at it!

While we were there, I bid on a couple of things, bought a raffle ticket, and got a few fun things at the Boobie Shop. I love themed things!! How cute are these things?

We also got to eat a bite of dinner and listen to the Front Fenders band! And we were even out of there before everyone got sloshed. (There was a bar in the corner) When we finished up our shift, we went out to Applebee's afterwards. I always love hanging out and chatted with my best Fargo girlfriend. With her youngest (but not for long LOL) in school we haven't hung out as much as we have in the past. I didn't realize how much I've missed her. Thanks lady for joining me in my cancer adventure this evening. You're awesome!!

Oh.... The next day, I got a call to say I had won one of the Silent Auction baskets.  Lucky day! Someone dropped it off to me. It's full of BC-themed items! So fun!

Support the Girls Program for the evening: