(In my latest bout of blog-stalking other Cancer patients, I found these thoughts from a blog called The Funny Thing about Cancer. Every word was exactly how I am feeling so I changed the amounts, took out what I didn't experience and added a few of my own thoughts. Thanks to Cynthia Ericson for putting my feelings perfectly into words. I've been saving this post for a LONG time. I'm so excited to be able to finally share it.)
Tomorrow is possibly my last Herceptin.
It is my sincerest hope that tomorrow will be the last time I:
- ever visit an infusion room. For any reason.
- see a nurse in a special gown that is supposed to protect her from the poison she is about to pump into someone.
- have to wait (and wait... and wait) for the lab to release my meds. Seriously. Takes forever sometimes.
- have to pull an intravenous (IV) infusion pump down the hallway to use the restroom.
- have to wrap my hand like a boxer with a cohesive bandage so I don't bleed all over the floor on my way home.
- spend my Friday morning in an infusion room.
Bottom line is that I hope tomorrow is the end of my cancer journey.
Sure there will be follow-up visits. But even with those future appointments, tomorrow FEELS like the end of all of this craziness. It feels like the chains are coming off and I'll finally be free! Free from the appointments and the waiting rooms. Free from the physical annoyances that are "side effects". Free from the constant scheduling that all the appointments require. Free from the insurance forms telling me the price that they think mouse ovaries cost. Free from ALL of that.
Did you know it's been THIRTEEN months since I've gone more than 3 weeks without a doctors
appointment of some kind? For the last year, I have seen a medical professional at least once every 3 weeks. Prior to cancer, I saw a doctor exactly once a year (except for when I was pregnant) and even less after my little one hit 3 years old. I am so unbelievably excited for that to be over.
After tomorrow, I won't have to go see my oncologist for THREE MONTHS. By then I am hoping that God will let me in on his plan for the future and I will officially put this part of my life behind me.
Now, I know I will never be truly free from cancer... any survivor will tell you that cancer will forever be a part of your life, even when you're "cured". But to be free from the responsibility of the constant appointments and treatments will be divine. I can't possibly tell you how exciting that is for me.
So here's to celebrating the end of treatment and ALL the freedom that comes with it :)
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